^^IcyWorld ^^

~~Saturday, May 30, 2009~~

11:48 PM

Pretty much of a study today under the hot and humid weather effect things r harder to get in my brain haiz but manage to complete 2 moudule thoday thats gd that mean there is only 3 left for tml and im saving OSH for last tml cos its the first moudule that is goin to be tested starting monday.

Manage to complte the series of spernatural season4 today haha now waiting for season5 omg its getting interesting.

Going supper later well that quite marks the end of my day today really nth much but study and watching all the way. Tml is goin to be a better day(in a sacarstic tone) im sure of it cos got 3 module to study haiz.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Friday, May 29, 2009~~

8:39 PM

Exam Coming le pure mugging the past 2 week due to lec quizes i feel so cut of from the world damn cant do anthing i wan but lucky yesterday Yaoli jio for bball that really save me, after 1+ week no sport i feel refresh once again haha.

Jus got my hair cut yesterday. Cut until super short to suit the climate now it has been hot lately ican stand heat but when the weather become hot and humid that the prob make me very uneasy not in the condition to study.

I hate mugging alot my headaches r bac again i seriously hate reading to the core thats y i cant read a bk more than 10 min each time cos i cant stand the small font words all squeeze in 1 small page. Notes r slightly better cos they have bigger words and diagrams.

1 week more jus endure 1 week more im so gonna let lose myself hopefully i can plan a nite cycling straight after term test rite be4 my series term break event starts.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Thursday, May 28, 2009~~

12:38 AM

Pretty sad today cos first plan to go bball after sch whereby got reminded that today have cell so i cancelled my plan for bball and in the end realise no1 turn up for cell so its jus between me and daven.

We went to have dinner at KFC saw our SDO Fayanne and got notice of sth i didnt noe be4 as i never check my mail due to the tough week of Quiz battle turn out not bad after all now have to work for term test le

Yeah tml the class is playing bball i think so that means I can finally get my sports and really sweat it out le hope tml weather will be bright and sunny oooooh cant wait for the match to start. I NEED BBALL!!!

A cup of milk a day..

~~Tuesday, May 26, 2009~~

7:38 PM

Quizzes, Test, Projects, Reports 1 after another seriously there is no break at all haiz jus when quiz week ended this week got 2 quiz and next week is Term Test for every1 le time really flies for a moment i still got the feeling the sch jus reopen not long ago and now test le.

Well i jus realize even be4 my holiday even come it is already fully booked jam pack. First week i have 2 project to do and 1 field trip to go second week another field trip + CCA orientation camp.

Well i love raining days alot but sometime i feel that i love it abit too much le as i always sleep in raining days it has become a habit so whenever it rain i feel very sleepy almost cant study for my quiz today lucky it is a easy 1 haha confident to pass well.

So Gonna go for BBALL TML 1 week + no sports le i dun like the feeling of it. Its time to sweat physically get my brain to move and then study for term test. A target is being put up now i have to shoot it down wif perfect score.

>---> [+] <---<

A cup of milk a day..

~~Saturday, May 23, 2009~~

10:01 PM

I jus realise ppl cant work well under pain well after dinner i tried to search for a new blog skin as i said be4 today im gonna change my blog skin yet in the end i only change the background cos my mind cant seem to function and i cant find a blog skin i like.

Jus completed Supernatural season 3 goin to season 4 so gonna start its first epi after i blog haha

Overall today was quite bored stucking at hm doin nth besides watching Supernatural got trick by the weather so didnt go out for bball today got so obsess by the quiz this week that i didnt exercise this week im so gonna pay it back double next week oh i miss the sun alot hopefully the weather next week will be gd^^

A cup of milk a day..

~~Thursday, May 21, 2009~~

7:36 PM

This feeling suk perhaps i should start wif the gd things first. Well today's IBM Quiz was gd overall the paper was do-able but the funny things is some thing im unsure of was correct whereby some thing im sure i got it wrong haiz haha.

This feeling really suk first got food poisoning then dunno y end up got a very serious chest pain in the afternoon thats y i left TCC that early to go hm rest then i jus found out that my last 4 teeth is coming out le and it is really aching now so i got 2 painful spot 1 in my mouth and chest now haiz.

Tml 2 more test tml well pretty confident in it should be ok hopefully my ache will stop by tml haiz.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Wednesday, May 20, 2009~~

10:07 PM

Wat a nice rest day today is dun get me wrong here im jus trying to look at the bright side haiz cos i got food poisoning sadded but nvm i got quite an amount of rest today which i didnt get for a long tome le.

Tml IBM Lec quiz hope i can score will for that though i studied quite a number of times today but still dunno y i feel its still very brief. Gonna have more confidence wif myself I must do it this time without fail gonna achieve my goals for this sem.

Gonna do well for this sem even if i have to put my life at stake.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Tuesday, May 19, 2009~~

11:12 PM

Wat a dreadful day today is 2 quiz in 1 day totally screwed my first ET test but make a come back in EM2 test thank goodness this marks the lvl i am in of which is stronger which is the weaker subject.

Today my class was told to be usher for AS Grad Day Im so seriously against it cos I dun have a formal the last time i got formal is becos I squeeze out part by part from my closet and borrow some part from my friend now it in such a rush how on earth am I goin to get that, thank God I got a way out which is to go in as PC (Production Crew) so i will stay in the control room instead of standing outside ushering ppl.

Celebrate Benjamin Oh bdae today its kinda expected still i make the mix out of the best thing that i could im thinking if im in seoul garden he will die of horrible death le i need more liquid to play wif to really create the lvl 10 torture mix . After eating he got the second trial to go through that is to dance "Nobody" in public and we make a video out of it super funny hopefully i can post it on my blog soon as asoon as i have the time.

3 more test coming out I can Aces it I noe I can!!! OSU!!!!

A cup of milk a day..

~~Monday, May 18, 2009~~

5:30 PM

Woah finally the splint that stuck in my knee from ALC is out. Well still can remember during that time I keep joking that Im so gonna grow a tree on my knee haha.

This week gonna be crazy for me as I got 5 quiz in 1 week. Tml EM2 (Engineering Maths 2) and ET (Environment Technology) Lecture quiz and its back to back on my timetable so its gonna be tedious. Wed have to study for IBM (Intro to Biochemistry & Micro-sth) forgot wat is it le very dry alot of theory haiz then Thurs is the Lec quiz. Jus when I thought it ends there but it isnt still got 2 small quiz which is OSH & EM2 tut quiz both on friday though the mark weightage is small but still need to do well to achieve my goal for this sem.

Im sick of my blog skin le so gonna change it soon probably fri or sat argh so busy still got 2 project to run oso camp preparation coming rite up cant slack much le its time for real work to be done.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Sunday, May 17, 2009~~

9:35 PM

I have seen through everything now seriously when 1 says ppl dunno how to cherish until the thing is lost there is really meaning in it not becos u didnt cherish it in the first place but is u never cherish it enuf.

Also there is a saying about missing that i jus learnt that is if 1 lost sth he will continue to lost things until reaches a safe place its like a curse somehow haiz. I experience it myself it has been years since I lost sth i can remember clearly the last time i lost sth myself is in sec 2 i lost my key and since then i never lost anything beside some things impt to me got stolen it has always been like this thing r impt to me yet not anything really cost alot in value get missing i dun see my phone or anything go missing but those thing which r impt to me its fustrating.

Yesterday I lost my beloved cap seriously the time i gone missing till the time i notice its missing it merely a 2 min interval and when i walk bac to find seriously its gone totally gone, 1 thing that cant get through my mind is a $20+ cap which like i almost wear 1 year already who in the world would 1 to take it but like wat my friend say is true i jus noe 1 who does its freaking idiotic sia it should meant nth to the person who pick it lor but the fact is it meant alot to me its my favorite.

Then that is not the end the thing saying start to apply now after sending my friend hm i cycle hm pretty down and i ride through a hump hard wat i noe is my speedometer fly out of its place and i stop and search for it the thing is now i even noe where exactly it drop and still i cant find it this must be a joke man still i lost 2 impt thing to me in 1 day sure is devestating I feel the strenght that i can demolish a building wif the feeling i have that time.

Today i went to make a new identical cap cos seriously i cant live 1 day wif my things lost cos it totally feel like hell or rather worse than hell well making a new 1 doesnt replace my feeling for the old 1 it jus meant that im gonna have a new beginning but some things r jus 1 of a kind they cant be replace totally my heart seriously is bleeding.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Thursday, May 14, 2009~~

9:59 PM

Looks likes this sem is goin to be hard for me 1 project after another yet cant seem to form a gd grp a all the newest UO1 project the class decided to stick wif the OSH PBL grp well wat can I say haiz jus my grp dun get worse I already happy le.

I have been burn this whole week until now I barely have any energy left I cant seem to open my eyes. Today's lec quiz was a disaster I got the concepts all right but plant in the wrong number worse come to worse i even perform did a magic number trick, wat I did was amazing I calculated the answer is 98 and then when i carry it down to the second equation I wrote 210.

Oh wow while im typing this blog i notice the splint that is stuck in me since ALC is still there lol. Listening to music to relax now jus so happen an old song pop out it a song serveral years back it wat some song from a drama, its nice yet sad at the same time kinda reminds me of the drama that there is this miracle happen to this guy as he is a colour blind but a very success entrepuneur and 1 day he is giving a speech in the public he cross path wif a girl and surprisingly he can see her wif colours not black and white, but the love story turn out quite sad. Now im wondering will the same miracle happen to me too, is she that someone who can paint my black and white world wif colours.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Tuesday, May 12, 2009~~

10:11 PM

After wat happen last nite I really need a 1 day break soon maybe this sat. I need some motivation to study now cos I seem to have the intention but I cant pull out the strenght to do so. Im targeting for a 1-hit reversal to turn my grades around but I need ppl around me to really cooperate wif me I cant do this alone if I keep getting wear out by Projects!!!

Lecture quiz just around the corner I got to raise my performance to 100% in an instant to do well.

Just read a manga and really find that 1 of the character's personalities is really like mine so instead of Cooley's theory that learn in socio that ppl see each other like mirrors more like I see myself on how I have been. Totally uneffected by resocialisation cos I jus simply believe ppl r unique becos of who they really are. Ppl are given choices it a matter of their desicion to change to be like some other ppl or stay uniquely original.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Sunday, May 10, 2009~~

2:56 PM

The feeling is so refreshing, the feeling of being carefree and no worries is the best. Doing wat ever I like doin thing that give the sense of fulfillment. Life is better off this way, no stress no worry.

Memories of the past has become so faint to me now till a point i cant even remember the time i have wif JJ, he is 1 of my classmate in sec sch the one who really see me as an asset and not a liability, he is the only guy who make me feel regret becos of my past attitude as i always sleep to avoid the class yet didnt spend much time to help him in a sense i didnt help him to the fullest. If i have help him to the fullest he would have been in TP now instead of RP we would still be friends instead of the barrier i have now with the sense of i have let him down.

He is 1 strong guy in terms of strenght and character he have his own stand super firm wat he decided he will definately do it without fail he is also the squad leader of Delta squad in my BB company bac then. A friend and a target at the same time keep on working to catch up and supass him yet we make a great team ourselves we conquer many thing tgt.

After thinking all this make me wan to chat wif him noeing how has he been this whole time he is really a brother that i have lost and i wan it back.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Saturday, May 9, 2009~~

11:08 PM

Having a stand oso represents having a world of my own no longer wanders in other ppl's world like a homeless spirit le. "Ppl sure dunno how to cherish thing until they loss them" this quote is awefully rite I use to have my own world until the day I lost my stand to ppl around me who try to change, of cos they succeed. It was 1 hell of a down time where I try to search for myself, but well I finally find myself back and it was just where I left off. Back on track to my race. If anyone ask what have I gain in the end after the big detour, I can say I have gain the affirmation from the God I trust nth more nth less.

Still I owe the credit of finding myself back to 3 ppl, First is the most high God becos of him he reveal a great thing that direct me back to myself. The thing he reveal to me is that Im actually a human I do have feelings. Once I sealed up all my feeling and turn cold because I see no use of them and only bring depair and unhappiness and I was fill with hatred but even after the hatred is gone there is still unforgiveness and after that whole long period I lost the feeling of wat feeling is.

Recently Dr.Stephen Muncy came to our church and preach it really like the message is for me, its about a trap if one fall for hatred they fall for the trap and the degree of forgiveness is the depth of your faith so I learn to forgive not jus the person I hate in cell but oso those who brought hatred to my world basically is my sec sch class. From here I gain back my courage.

If I cant release my hatred I cant move on. Still beside God I owe the credits to 2 more ppl 1 is a good friend who is always by my side to listen to all the shit load of craps that I have to dump and from there always encourage me from the deepest of the heart which of cause different from the encouragement that the cell group gave cos the 1 they give are just empty words, from this friend I gain the aspect of confidence back.

Last but not the least is the one girl that I fell so deeply for her, she the one that let me see hope and is also because of her I confirm that Im a human with feelings. It is because of her that I actually get the strenght to stand up, I found my stand, also my desire to strive hard to acheive something high. Most of all I found myself at last.

Now constantly training hard to achieve back the strenght I had before is the top piority.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Friday, May 8, 2009~~

5:10 PM

Sth kinda funny happen lately which makes me wonders. Jus when I climb back up from the hole i dug myself into last semester some1 tries to pull me down again and the reason I see is jus for their benefit on the expense of me I guess.

I find that the time where I lost my stand is the time where I start to get mainipulate by ppl and this has come up to my mind that is this a conspiracy. Now I have my stand back I will not waver anymore I will not get mainipulate anymore. Just how fake they are.

Now I finally returns yet ppl start doubt on me as im not the person they know before not the what they say I will do kind anymore and my past ability had come back as well. Im the true me now no longer weak.

Speaking about weak reminds me of ego i think its also part of their cospiracy cos there is several times I already realise im becoming weaker by days and whenever I tried to come back the same old person will prevent me by telling me about ego thingy which instill a mindset to me that becoming bac strong = pride and ego which is not good in their sense.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Monday, May 4, 2009~~

10:48 PM

Just how deep did i sink into and how great my failure is from now on it doesnt matter le cos its unmeasurable and the point is measure oso no use cos it a bottomless pit.

Do anyone have a cure for it? There is so many question in me that cant be answered im so confuse should i go for it or should i not. I never have fear be4 i didnt know wat is fear till now wat i use to do is jus do it wat difficulties come due wif it when met but this situation is different i cant somehow my courage doesnt even match half of wat is required i think there is no strategy nor straight method to due wif this situation the probability to this is always a unknown.

How many around me actually support me if i go for it this time i think i really need a pillar to rely on to start out this journey is like in a jetty a boat need a hard push be4 it can leave the jetty and start paddling to its destination now wat i need is the support that sth to push myself out to start the journey.

Will i end up like The Fool in tarot cards where it pictures a guy carrying a bag wander on the summit dreaming without looking his way that he is about to walk of a cliff and a dog was barking by the side to warn The Fool. What the card mean that The Fool is some big dreamer but he get so carried away in his dream that he didnt look for his way sometimes it gd to stop for awhile and actually in that bag of his got wat is required to accomplish his dream jus need him to stop for awhile to look into it.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Saturday, May 2, 2009~~

11:18 PM

Im becoming a milk freak unknowingly ever since sch start i adopted a daily habit/ routine due to the crave and lateness in sleep every nite i end up doin the following everyday: Morning 9 lesson drag myself up at 8 dily daly cos jus woke up the reach sch 850 go Flavors canteen buy a cup of coffee smuggle into LT then put on LT desk drink infront of teacher somemore im sitting in 2nd or 3rd every time. Next after lunch i will definately do sth which is go CHEERS to buy milk but now i found out BUS canteen cheaper by 10cent so now i buy in BUS canteen le haha so everyday for sure 1 coffee + 1 milk mix it up u get 1 coffeemilk a day haha.

Today without realise my crave for milk i only ate my breakefast tehn afternoon i bought milk then 4pm i go eat at expo food court cos today serving sound ministry in church then after serving go out wif my children church ministry friend to eat they ate BK i sianz of BK so i didnt eat i end up buy another packet of milk from 7-11. 2 PACK OF MILK A DAY IM SO GONNA BE A MILK FREAK LE ARGH!!!

A cup of milk a day..

~~Friday, May 1, 2009~~

12:08 AM

Hate to admit it but still have to acknowledge it that Iceman have been defeated totally this time. Whenever her presence is near i jus simply blank cant even draw out the slightest bit of my strenght, she is jus so cool im my sight.

She always have a cool style the things that always catch my sight is her jacket and her backpack always stand out and make her unique to me from all the other girls i noe.

I really feel like im sinking into a quicksand pit very quickly without knowing it, in my eyes she look jus so perfect. Only her presence make me feel im human as i can literally feel my heart is actually beating.

Now my only fear is that i might give up everything im holding on now and jus break all limit i set on myself and totally unleash my true strenght. if the constant force from church side keeps on goin i think i might do it and leave church for gd picking up all the thing i have lay down be4 and continue the journey where i left of and create the future i wan wif my own strenght.

A cup of milk a day..