Jun Wei.
Joseph.
Li Xin.
Emily.
TPPC.
Wai Hong.
Gerald.
Constance.
Daryl.
Daven.
Li Wei.
Marcus Chua.
Marcus Lay.
Samantha.
Shu Han.
Tzyy Wei.
December 2008 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 April 2012
Wat a day today is stuck at hm whole day again woke up late as usual haha slowly catching bac the rest i have loss for the exam le haha. 2 more days i estimate will be enuf for me le. Planning on a nite cycling on tues nite not fix yet but most probably haha^^ looking forward to it aiming far this time cos all that go this time is go stamina de haha^^
Sianz lacking of gd dream this 2 days haha but still mood was all time high jus like be4. Yesterday was awesome i eat damn lot of stuff actually is like a portion of how much 2 ppl can eat haha. Its all gd food i ate yesterday damn happy^^
Asking myself how clear is it? Mood lifted up no matter wat angle i see it, it might have been jus a dream but its a dream that has a huge effect on me. Having gd dream this 2 days seriously is this a sign that sth is goin to happen soon? I wonder haha if yes then i cant wait for it to happen.
Today my day doesnt start out gd in the morning i cant pull myself up despite Tzyy Wei wake me twice finally i feel my father walking around the hse cos i was sleeping in the living rm last nite. Then bathe then grab some notes to study on my way to sch. Pretty bad start.
I find today quite not productive but refreshing. Got the mood any everything rite but i jus waste my time away getting distracted from time to time still i manage to meet my objective jus the timing is way off. Got a feeling tml paper is goin to be great. Im so goin to bomb the paper tml to make up my lost for the previous 1.
Freaking retarded the paper today certainly is meant to kill totally. SUper pissed off and irritated no 1 cares even i dun care bout myself. For a moment i relly feel like jumping of a certain building. Thought of death is certainly getting stronger. But i jus end up hurting myself indirectly. Went for a bball match and got attack like injuries all over got a toe that is bleeding internally now so gonna limp tml i believe as my left knee oso took quite abit of dmg. Got a very destructive feeling rite now.
Dunno how am i goin to face my paper tml wif my current condition:( All the window's fault haiz y does it have to rain. I caught a cold last nite while sleeping becos my bed is near the window and its not close when it rain end up the rain water splashes into my rm and hit me:(
WOW!!! i didnt noe age gap mean this much can create such a strong barrier. Today i finally bring down the barrier le after like 1+ year. Looks like my effort didnt go to waste^^ It the happiest serving day i have since i start serving. Its really a miracle that i took the first step, let jus say maybe becos of the extra smiles i receive today as for no gd reason where i walk ppl smiles at me even im pulling a long face.
To my horror when i was bathing i look into the mirror i saw how black my eyes is. Panda eyes totally. I think i did have enuf rest for my body but my eye jus feel like closing every single moment. Think my eyes gonna form 1 line soon haha.
Oh well today nth much beside 1 safety paper tested which i pray for its safety rite now cos im super fed up wif it dunno wat will i do to it either when i get it bac. Basically another day of withdrawal, its draining me out. Maybe MILK will help!!! Tired le really tired le. No1 is there either.
Haha first post after my new skin. Still adapting to my new blog skin as its obvious not my initial idea to change haha. It by chance that sth that interesting pops out all credit to Tzyy Wei. It feel so milky now haha i love milk alot^^ Still though the brown is minimal but its so gonna take me some time to accept a new colour.
Back to sch finally as in sch work really haha^^ i had always been in sch but did nth bout sch work for the past 1 month i suppose. Even my class complain that didnt get to hang out wif me much, its rare to see me. Well i agreed too haha i hasnt been around for a long time.
Well i have decided to jus watch over for now. Though i might get distracted at times but i noe its not a big prob and its nth much if i jus due wif it dun let it wander off too far.
FRUSTRATING & FRUSTRATED!!! Y TELL ME Y NTH IS GOIN RITE FOR ME RITE NOW I REALLY FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF AND KILLING PPL NOW!!! IF EVERY1 IS STRESS SO AM I Y R THERE PPL WHO STILL THINK ONLY ABOUT THEIR OWN BENEFIT ON THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS!!!
Wasted 2 whole day doing nth. Haiz jus wat am i thinking sia. Movie alone again, notice alot of thing haha^^ well now i really dun see the different in goin movie in a grp and goin movie alone maybe its jus the after movie every1 talk about the movie feeling that all.
A cold flower. A flower that is engrulf in the icyblue flame. Giving a chill feeling to every1. More destructive than any other thing.
Tell me y this feeling is getting stronger!!! Its starting to feel closer all of a sudden its like that gap is closing without anything being done its too far till i dunno how to react to it. Though now its still in a very 1-sided position but somehow i got the feeling its working 2-way after wat happen in last wed's performance i cant stop thinking bout it.
An ache arise all of a sudden jus wat i cant put down this time. Sometime ppl jus need a gd time alone, in solitude. It have different result on a person. for me i cant survive around ppl for a very long time i need breaks to be alone myself. This afternoon it feels so great to go out alone watch a movie alone. Its a feeling i dunno how to describe it feels great like without ppl around u and u can be ur own self, feeling r being quiet down.
A mood that is being lifted up^^ A new game have started. I have nowhere to run, I have no place to go. Only look up into the sky and give a smile. So many thing has happen so many memories have been created looking bac the way i deal wif things i realise im not as zai as wat i use to be even though i gain in knowledge but im not firm at all.
Stress lvl is dropping haha^^ previously im too stress to feel stress now after 1 week of exercise the stress lvl drop to a lvl that stress can be felt le haha^^ do more sports and i believe my stress will be release haha^^
I think im really stress le. I think i have been thinking alot recently last count i can process 16 impt thing in my brain without counting the basic functions and misc item. Well life is never easy but nth stands in my way from now on. I realise sports do have alot effect on me. Jus realise i need to fix a gd route and timing i can achieve result like be4. Im competitive in sports this few days race against buses and taxi feel so gd.
Today's rehersal first round was screwed second half was better. I realise pissed = serious for me. Scary even im scare of myself sometimes. Engulf in the sea of blue flame, burning at a very low temperature cause more internal damage than a raging flame does.
I feel very bad, i dun feel like myself anymore. Wat has gone into me i wonder. After pondering for so long i still couldn't get the satisfied answer that i wan, sth that can convince me. Jus how ppl wan it to happen then they will be satisfied. It like the human heart really have a unfillable hole.
Lost is where you found me, Shattered and frail, you love me still, you love me still. Trouble may surround me, my heart may fail but you never will, you never will. Wat is the cause for the me now? Suddenly feel abandoned and forsaken again.
Wow suddenly feel like blogging alot of things, dunno y though. I will try to keep it short,jus wat am i thinking now im seriously clueless. I think i need help wif my life is there a living 101 manual for me?