Finally booked out after 2 week of confinement again. Remedial training was not gd at all. We got force to bring weighs hm to train too. Though its jus a short 2 days of booking out but its truly the worst 48 hrs i have been through. How i wish i wont have to book out at all then i dun have to face all these shit. The last thing i will wan on earth is to lose a friend and im very serious about. I really resent this feeling. All am I to blame, y am i so stupid. How i wish i have some1 to share this to now. Cos im really in a hopeless situation here. I need some comfort and different point of view now. I knew sth was wrong when my my gut feeling tinkles. My instinct is never wrong. But really i never thought it will be this bad. Yet I still do stupid thing by poking. I think it make her misunderstand me more. Now i really dunno how am i going to salvage this problem. This is a very deep misunderstanding plus its not going to be settled reasonably. Cos whatever reason that is going to be presented cfm will be shut out. Really need to find a way to unshut this shit be4 presenting the reasons. Till now i still dunno y such irrational move is made. Though i promised not be angry but im still not happy about it. At least can ask for my view first or sth rite. This is not the first but is the worst trouble you have created so far. This seriously have gone out of hand. There is a limit to a person's patience try not to step over it. I know you dun like to see my angry face but if its really too bad i really might jus get angry. This im the greatest victim in this matter lor. The 1 being misunderstand is me the 1 being pinned is me. The 1 being hurt most is me. Yet i still have to suck this all up and try to please both side cos its all becos of me and its my duty to do so. Cos i will suck more if i dun do it. Does any1 out there understand my pain what i have to deal wif. Im really torn now seriously. Now I really wan to hide bac into the shithole that i come out from. Really wish i didnt have to book out this week. Run away from all the problem now. I sorta have the solution but its going to take alot out of me and might not even work too. Hopefully it will work. I will do it when im all recharge from this shit i have sink into. I really dun wan to lose a friend. I will do whatever it takes to bring a friend bac.