Driven to take 2 of my last 4 pain killers for headache. Anger have gotten pretty much of me. For now i was make to sound like some rat bastard that is everything at fault and the cause become some innocent soul that is being sympathize by every1. Fine then i shall be bad then since no 1 understands. The result of the weak clusters think i have gotten use to it. Jus becos majority r at a certain lvl of things doesn't make them rules. Ppl who r stuck at the lvl r becos they have no desire to improve thats all it doesnt make them rite and normal to jus be like this. Being tgt doesn't give the rites to make me worry all the time and im obligate to be responsible for everything so please kindly dun take it for granted. Its freaking pressurising plz for goodness sake. Im goin mad.

Its so hard to find a listener nowadays since im pretty much limited in my contacts yet again cos it will cause some1 to be unhappy. Y cant i really find some1 who speaks the same language as me be it guy or girl y jus that i dun find ppl like this. It is not about the strength or thinks the same way. I jus need ppl to understand me, dunnid to agree wif me but only justify properly and unbiasedly and logically. Humans r not perfect but at least some1 out there can justify properly me in areas im wrong in i would be glad and willing to change. Jus like how my ex-cgl does in justifying me. I wan to be better i wan to grow stronger too but y jus there is no guidance for me.

Im starting to hate ppl once again. I feel like i wan to be alone where nth is a hindrance to me. Blow down obstacles and head straight on to my goal at all cause.