^^IcyWorld ^^

~~Friday, July 29, 2011~~

12:42 AM

You're strong but im stronger. You're smart but im smarter. And i only wan to grow more stronger and smarter. There are still alot i dunno. I wont lose to the me of yesterday. Mind, Body and Soul, Soul shall dominates it all. Mind over body and Soul over mind. There r still much more things i wan to achieve. What u r capable of is jus a fraction of it. Stop loafty and start working. Dun blind me wif complications and emotions. I will eradicate any emotions and complications if i have to. This time im dead serious. Im regaining discipline.

My soul that is shouting out to the mind and body.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Wednesday, July 27, 2011~~

1:23 AM

Today wasnt a fun day neither its fruitful. I have found quite afew things but they r pretty expensive. I have not enuf money to put everything tgt. Sigh need to think of alternative alr. Another prob now is i need to go find my poly notes out. For ppl who knows me knows that its very hard for me to do so cos i seldom have complete notes. Still all this to help a friend haha^^ Nth is imposible as long as im not lazy.

Didnt get to meet Mentor today cos he is sick. Meeting on sat instead. Things r piling up. I think by sat he will be flood to death by me xP Really cant wait to talk to him. I really need some advice. And im telling this to no 1 except him and shu han. So far these 2 r the most trusted ppl in my life now.

There is a hole in my heart now. A hole that cant be fill. Belinda posted 'It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.' on facebk today. My comment to it was 'That y u will get charmed when beauty and personality comes tgt haha^^' As a matter of fact it strucks me that the comment come out from me. Then i think deeper y will i say that jus to realise becos there is a hole in my heart. Ever since i totally let lindy go, this hole exist. My heart has been vacant and im starting to feel empty. Seems like no1 is capable of filling this hole. To the comment i realised that i will say that becos i have found the person once. A person wif both beauty and personality. I was charmed by it. The emptiness sometimes is so bad till I tried to fill this emptiness wif her but to no avail. She is no longer the solution anymore i really do have no feelings for her now though i still acknowledge her beauty and personlity but my heart jus seem to reject her placing bac in this hole. I cant explain this but sort of im hanging im the middle of nowhere. A place where i cant return to and no place i can go that kind of feeling. Last time i tot it was bad enuf. Now this emptiness is worse than the past where i have some1 in mind but i cant reach the person. It feel like i have no drive in me. I know i can pull through. I jus need a light to guide me out of this darkness.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Tuesday, July 26, 2011~~

1:51 AM

Did a scouting trip today. Quite fruitful well at least main objective is met haha^^ Cables and connectors^^ Heat Strink^^ Well and a couple of things i shall not mention haha^^ Most of them r for church's sound ministry. In the process of building sth up now haha^^

Few things i cant find: Cookie Monster Iphone cover, alarm clock and a lousy digital watch. Well haven done the design for the cap yet too. Ahhhh time is running out. If this unfruitfulness carry on i can forget about the surprise alr. That 1 is equally as hard as finding a Cookie monster iphone cover. There is no last resort for it too cos no way i can custom make it.

OMG i seriously have a liking for custom made stuff now. Esp after 1 shop owner put an irresistable idea in my brain. All along i've like custom made stuff but this is a whole new level of idea. Blame the shop owner for it ROAR. I wonder wat i can do once i have completed the pre-requsite for custom making. I think im going to custom make every single personal belonging of mine^^

A cup of milk a day..

~~Sunday, July 24, 2011~~

12:28 AM

Came bac from a funeral. Tried to blog for the pass few hours but failed. My uncle died. A sudden collaspe, diagnosed terminal lung cancer and there he goes. All these happened less than a week. When the news break im numbed dun even know how to react to it.

Went bac yesterday for the last ceremonial and this morning sit through the whole burial ceremony, send him off the last time. I was numbed the whole time, I dunno y i am too. Is it i cant accept the news or i cant except the fact that he is gone. Walk by the coffin and see him the last time be4 the coffin is sealed. I had this unexplainable heartache. Worse is that this is too sudden my grandma oso cant take it. Every time she cry my heart pain sia. Then my grandma was like telling every1 how gd i am. Cos i went bac to visit recently. Whereby im not even that gd to be told in the first place. I feel bad inside.

What happen was be4 this gd friend of mine,Pauline, fly Leo and me met her for an outing. At first suppose to be a small outing within the country then after suggestions it turn to a mini adventure. So we went to my ah ma's kampong there to have seafood that day. Kinda rush cos the 2 ppl late reach there eat seafood go desaru see see then come bac liao. Be4 eat seafood actually the cab pass by my grandma's hse but i never go find her cos i thinking wif friends they might not wan to visit my relative so i proceed wif itinenary. Only thinking that if later after all the thing got time then i go bac visit grandma awhile. As the cab pass by my grandma's hse i saw my grandma standing outside so i pointed to my friend that my grandma as the cab zoom pass. Pauline goes like y never go visit her then i told her if later got time come bac then visit cos cfm will passby my grandma hse de. Last boat was 4 but the boat dun have fix timing to leave 1 only say service stop 4 if they have enuf passenger 3+ they will leave liao. At arnd 240 we r going to come bac from desaru, the cab driver and me know if we dun hurry there wont be a boat for us to return. The cab ride to the jetty is 1/2 hr. Somehow Pauline she insisted that we should go to my ah ma's place to at least visit awhile. We wont make it to the boat in time if we do that. But then again Leo and her brought fruits alr so we went for a short visit in the end. And we missed the boat. Seriously wif her no plans goes rite. And that time I am kinda upset by her spoiling the plans and all the indecisiveness and complains for the trip whole day. The only decisive thing she did that day turn out to be gd.

As to that story my grandma told every1 it all happened thank to this gd friend of mine. I get to see my that uncle the last time jus recently. Somehow my mum oso know my pattern de like wat kind of person i am. So she knew normally i wont have did the things i did in the scenerio. I would have rush them bac jus to catch the last boat as the gateway bac to sg is very impt as there quite ulu other than the boat the only way is take a long drive up to johor come bac through the causeway. If not means we need to stay there for 1 nite come bac the next day. Im super grateful for this gd friend. She really reminds me of my mum, she has the trait of ideal come first not problem. How many such coincidence can happen in life? But it surely did for this 1. Not to say its my first time going bac to the kampong alone without my parents.

Dunno how many coincidental things happen when im wif her. Somehow its uncountable alr. Plans for us never worked. More like the plans i made. Hence i give up planning eventually when going out wif her. Jus meet and let the outing flow only. But things felt rite most time except for the few irritating ones. And it felt rite more than the planned things somehow. Think this statement is proven rite 'There is no such thing as coincidence, there is only inevitability. All things do happen for a reason'.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Thursday, July 21, 2011~~

5:20 PM

Today was stuck at hm. OH God suppose to do shopping for myself and some1 else. End up i feel asleep cos i didnt have a gd rest last nite. Even though i slept early but i was woken up by unforseen circumtances and had a bad dream after.

Tried to finish my bk today. But fell asleep in the middle. But im so going to finish it tonite. Left few more chapters only. More like about a 100 page more ba haha^^ I still have 4 more bk waiting for me to read. Though i still haven overcome my unable to read long habit but at least im improving haha^^ Really love to read nowadays.

Im living in tough decision now. And for watever decision i made its still going to hurt. Whatever the path is, it is a point of no return. I sort off have choosen my path alr. I wan to improve and the path i choose is that 1. Both path has its own tough obstacle but 1 lead to self improvement the other is jus a stuck situation that doesnt do much gd in the end.

Still after this option i have picked i will leave the rest up to God. Considering him as a factor all the more the other path doesnt suit me cos it will only destroy. Its about time that i stop heading into a destructive path but a constructive 1. I wan to see his plan i wan to see my own potential through him. Devil u shall not hold nth from me.

My plans for the next 4 years is going to be great. I in the middle of building sth up and learning new things everyday. All i wan to do now is embrace and hold on to the responsibility i have choose to take up.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Wednesday, July 20, 2011~~

8:41 PM

Today went east coast cycle and did some tanning haha^^ Im amaze but my skin when i tan i get black instead of bronze or brown. Really black sia haha^^ im satisfied wif my tan today except my face still not black enuf haha^^ overall it was gd^^

My oh my guess im in a pretty complicated but small mess now. Yesterday went drinking it was awesome^^ everything went well and im happy. Best of all i drank alot of strong alcohol but never drunk haha^^ still i hate beer. Ok maybe certain type of beer is nice xP thats wat im forced to say xP either way this is not the mess im referring to. The real mess is wat happen this morning. After i woke up, i whatsapp Pauline about the drinking session i had the nite be4. Knowing she kinda likes to drink told her abit more detail of the drinks i had. Result was kind of unexpected from her. I got lectured by her for all the strong alcohol i drank. She went silent for the whole day until nite i facebk chat her. I asked her if she is kinda upset? She went like no im not, then yah actually abit upset but more like BUAY SONG. In my mind is like isn buay song worse than upset>< Somemore its in caps. OMG. Scary sia first time i see her angry or upset wif sth. What a small but complicated mess this is. Lucky she dun have this blog if she see this i think my head will roll dunno how many times.

Ok im tired i think i will be nice for once and sleep at 10pm haha^^

A cup of milk a day..

~~Monday, July 18, 2011~~

11:49 PM

Today is an awesome day^^ Met 2 of my sis today haha^^ Afternoon met my old CHC sis watch harry potter then nite met shu han for dinner haha^^ Finally my life is not jus bumming at hm le actually for the past few days it isnt. Love the way of living actively again, have been dormant for quite some time le. Wake up the inactive blood and itch for new challenges haha^^

As expected from shu han i think. She really is the 1 that knew me best. Even better tahn myself. When i speaks of the prob she kinda already have the answer and know wat area am i coming from. Jus that this time she aint going to let me had the answer easy. At least thats wat she claims. So now im forced to realise it myself which i have been failing to do for days. Still she raise a gd point and it sink in deep. 'If its meant to be mine will ultimately be mine' she said. Suddenly the verse in corinthians which say Love is patience surfaced in my mind. That has calm my spirit down somehow. Guess the prob is the reason of my sleepless nite now seem to be eased.

Church is 1 of the place i feel fine now. Its like i really feel like myself i dunnid to hide any weakness or wat not. Every1 is the same as me, they r themselves but they r nice at the same time from the deepest of their heart. Every1 have their weakness and they r not afraid to show it. Be it bearable or not somehow we all excepted each other's weaknesses. Felt really cozy yet a large rm to grow. It the i see myself truly where i stand and i know im not there yet not even close. I have not reach any limit yet. Last time i regard discipline as limitation to growth. But now i know its wrong. Dicipline is part of growth and i totally lack it. Have let loose myself too much alr. Now i can say my greatest weakness is discipline. Worse of all its sth that i cant build quickly.

Today cycled quite abit i suppose. It feels great haha^^ Cant wait for sunday. Another thing i like about church is i can be independant as every1 act as their own no waiting or meeting policy its really own time own target. Sunday is a packed day, morning cycle to church have service then afternoon is my church's monthly captains ball thingy sth that i love alot haha^^ Church that do sports tgt bonding plus healthy my type of thing. Somemore its not competitive^^ jus really go in and enjoy. After the captains ball need chiong down to east coast meet pc for skate/cycle trip^^ that y im cycling to church in the first place haha^^ 1 full day of sport again its going to be awesome^^

Well tml's awesomeness come first haha^^ im actually going drinking for the first time. Previously i dun have the go out to drink mentality and never really did it out of the intention be4 and tml will be the first time. Really wanted to try it out see how it feels^^ Compare and see if drink internally in my cozy clique feel better or drink outside wif friend feel better haha^^ Plus to top it all tml im going to drink wif an awesome friend of ine who seems to be very well verse in alcohol haha^^ its going to be fun^^

A cup of milk a day..

~~Sunday, July 17, 2011~~

1:04 AM

Today had a food trip wif PC ppl^^ went to afew places to eat. Started out at Joo Chiat we eat the quite famous Fei Fei wonton noodle. The food there i think its soso only compared to the one near my hse. I still think the 1 near my hse is nicer haha^^

After Wanton noodle we went paya leybar. Met Fayanne and go to city plaza and had alnolds chicken there. Eating alnolds is not my main point cos i had eat tonnes of time alr but to some of the rest is their first time. To me talking to fayanne is the highlight of the meeting wif her today haha^^ Talked abit bout the scandal in PC here and there. Its was fun talk until she post a question that i dunno how to answer. She asked if there is a chance that me and pauline will get tgt>< I totally stunned, out of the blue wif this question bombed i have no answer to that question. Actually some1 else asked me that question be4 but that time im certain wif my answer. This time im really unable to give that confident answer i gave to the some1 be4. I diverted the focus in the end.

Nite we went serangoon. At first tot of eating at chomp chomp but every1 is still full from the chicken end up we had dessert only. Some1 in the grp have lactose intolerance so icecream is out of the pic. Wif 2 icecream stall gone leaving us the last option Dessert Bowl. At that point things didnt felt rite. i can feel it strongly things jus doesnt feel rite. Going to the place wif them is really different from going wif pauline. Doing different things there jus feel different. Though im well quite well verse of that place but it jus feel different. It jus simply different without her. I began to miss her more alot more.

She jus moved hse again. And she will move again next week either tues or wed to her permenent hse. She claims to be a nomad and thats funny^^ I joke bac that she is more like a princess in refugee. The good part aside here comes the bad. I was praising the Lord for Technology yesterday and problem arise today. The network coverage there suk actually is after the move it turn suckier than the previous place. DC man times for her and drop out msg. We didnt even have a conclusive talk today neither did we greet each other gd nite becos of the poor network coverage. Hope her next place of stay will have better network.

OH cant wait to meet Shu Han for dinner on monday haha^^ gonna have a nice chat wif my dear sis xP hopefully she dun kana OT from work.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Saturday, July 16, 2011~~

1:14 AM

Today a rather happy post compare to the previous one. First i like to thank God for Technology. First time i appreciated tecnology so much^^ She has been gone for 3 days. On the day she reached aussie, i received a text that the moment she touched down wif the sg number. Im so happy to wake up seeing that msg, ok not to the waking up part but to the msg haha^^ Imagine this kind of thing she cfm wont send to every1 maybe to afew close friend and her family thats all. Im glad im in the list despite being her friend for 4 months only haha^^

On the same day, we found a new temporary contact method haha^^ cos texting will be too ex. So we ended up on facebk chat and reply each other from time to time like sms on facebk chat. Sad thing bout blackberry is there isnt a facebk chat function in the fb app. Anw she can only access fb though her lappy that time too. Later that day she gotten her permenent aussie phone service tgt wif an Iphone. Things changed from that point on^^

That nite we msn-ed, still cant get used to the 2hr time gap>< Actually after knowing the 2 hour time gap i went hm 2 hrs early that day. Instead of 12 i went hm at 10pm my mum was stun that im hm early haha^^ Even goin hm at 10pm her time there is alr 12 so we didn get a long chat but tha enuf to establish a new form of contact haha^^ Wif her new Iphone and wif an awesome app call Whatsapp its like can contact anytime liao^^ Lucky blackberry have Whatsapp too^^ Previously i think i underuse my blackberry cos i never dl any app except facebk. Now its different, i might start twitter soon too xP

Last time she didnt like to sms. Now things really changed though we didnt really Whatsapp 24/7 but throughout the dy from time to time there is contact^^ Sharing the interesting things at her side and at mine. Slowly eliminating MSN le haha^^ And i dunnid to go hm early anymore cos its all in the phone now^^ Today's interesting topic is cinema haha^^ According to her the cinima there is lousier than sg's cinema haha^^ But she watch Harry Potter alr>< making me really wan to watch>< Oh oh and oso she say the cinema in aussie is free seating de sth new huh. Facinating indeed. Oh and oso talked about the train line there its hectic cos 1 platform can have 6 different line going at all different directions. It like having all the lines in sg mrt for both directions in jus 1 platform haha^^ Really wan to see for it myself someday. Make me excited only haha^^ Cant wait for my NS to be able to take leave.

Gotta get that cap started on monday. Check pricing for mail. And do lots of shopping for her next week haha^^ apparently things there r very ex hence resolving to get it from sg. Speaking of ex the cab there is like limo pricing sia according to her example dist from yishun to tamp that short distance can cost up to 50bucks there>< its like seriously ex sia. So many story in jus a shprt 3 days i starting to expect more stories soon haha^^ Still thank God for all the technology^^ it make me feel like the dist between us is not that great anymore. In fact its improving comparing to the amount we talk last time and we talked now^^

A cup of milk a day..

~~Tuesday, July 12, 2011~~

10:26 PM

Today seeing very gd friend off to oversea study. Somehow im overwhemled by sadness. I really cant bear to see her leave. Guess i have delievered my last act of service for her be4 she fly. Seems like these few days my tots is built arnd her. All i can think of r things about her like wat is there i can still do for her be4 she leave. Almost burst into tears and wan do stupid thing on the spot when she leave. Now i know how hard it is to contain those feelings on the spot but i survived it.

I blame myself for not having the rite idea for parting gift soon. I feel like im the most useless and dumbest person on earth now. Wat fayanne said was rite 'Isnt it abit too late to give after she fly', that sentence really stab me deep. I only had the idea yesterday though i think for few days already but the idea only came yesterday. Its too late to get the idea materialise in time. At the airport jus now its like different grp of ppl have sth to give her except me. It feels like double blow to me. Nevertheless i will keep my word and get the thing done for her.

Ever since i know her till now have been talking in msn every nite except for a couple of nites never talk thats all. Those nite that im unable to online i will like tell her that im unable to online. Cos i got so used to talk to her that now suddenly feel like i have no purpose online in msn after she is gone. The place she is at is 2hr ahead of sg time. Dun even know when will she online again.

Even though its not like im never going to see her again or wat but I still cant stop myself from missing the yesterdays. Days of her being arnd me. Guess i got too use to her being arnd me. All the outings we went i can rememeber so clearly in my mind now. Even the stupid moments seems fun. No matter how much i cant stand her troublesome ideas i still give in to her and make everything possible. I think she is the only one that can late for a meeting for 1hr or more and i still wont be angry at her. She is never on time for any meeting be4.

Seems like making her smile is one of my task for the past few months. Taken note of every likes and dislike she mentioned. Did my last act of service to make her smile. Kinda realise this is the last time that she will get to drink gong cha, offered to buy and give her. Seeing her smile and enjoying it jus now feels like i have did sth rite.

After knowing her i have once again step foot into serangoon once again. By chance she works in Teadot at the new serangoon shopping mall, Nex. By chance im free and know the place becos of the past. By chance 1st dinner outing we ate at chomp chomp. By chance we talked about icecream. By chance she was recommanding to me 'Udders' icecream. By chance we search the location of the shop using phone internet. By chance we found that they open a shop opposite chomp chomp. From that day on chomp chomp has been our default place of meeting. This is how an old place i know in the past has been overwritten wif new meaning. The place is unique to us that whenever we go without each other we will tot and miss each other.

Somehow my willingness to travel oso played quite a big part. I really feel blessed that i live in tamp as there r so many transport line. I can go anywhere and still have the last bus bac hm. A random call from her and i can bus down to serangoon jus to eat icecream and bus her bac to yishun and i still have bus hm.

All I can say is I really meant my word. Everything i have promised or said so far there is not one that i have not done till date. I was very close to breaking 1 promise but luckily it didnt happen.

Had a really fun time wif her the past few months. It marks the full stop of what is as off now. But there r more that i have promised to do. 1 that includes to go aust find her when i can get leave from my ns, do bungee jumping tgt and other extreme sports. I really cant wait for that moment to arrive. And it shall be my motivation to move though my ns wif a greater expectation. Really wanted to pull that joke that we came up tgt. Its the in a chat convo she will jio lunch for tml and i shall reply on the next flight over to you haha. One of our random lunch outing joke. Will be looking forward to the opening of the next chapter wif this friend of mine.

A cup of milk a day..

~~Tuesday, July 5, 2011~~

11:16 PM

Imma happy kid today^^ I got the headphone I have been eyeing for months^^ Few months ago went jaben tested it out its gd but i have no cash then so didnt buy on the spot. 3 days ago i went bac its sold out. Honestly i have gd ears i can tell its a gd headphone from the moment i tested it. The sound is smooth and clear not too pitchy or boomy. It was sold out i am sad and i was told regional supplier out of stock too. Im devastated. Im not willing to give up sth i have eyed for so long so i found alternative. Went Sim Lim Hung Brothers today and they have 1 last stock left truly God bless^^ But i blew my budget by 120 bucks becos of the extra amp i got>< Last min realise got gd headphone if my player cant drive it then buy for wat sia. So walk to jaben to see amp. My budget for the amp only 100 bucks but i liked the 250 bucks 1 best then after discount from the shop i got it at 228.

Thank God for a random friend like pauline carried me through the past 1 week haha^^ surprisingly last week i week her more than anybody else. Ramdom lunch outing on wed, then fri go walk walk tgt and dine at 15 mins and then sunday random udders icecream outing plus supper at serangoon chomp chomp that area. Cool and this week too haha cannot shave without her arnd thats wat she said. Thurs maybe lunch^^ starting to fill my organiser once again haha^^ She is flying off next tues, certainly i will miss a gd friend like her. A person who is pretty much like me. We already come into agreement we will be best friends forever haha^^ Somehow i thnk becos of that i have more tolerance toward her. The random kaki haha^^ Really after tues no more random lunch outing, no more icecream tgt, no more alot of random stuff. No more jinx-ing each other by saying the same thing at the same time somehow that happen alot even on msn>< Oh well there r end to gd times oso shall not be too sad but await the return of a best friend.

A cup of milk a day..