^^IcyWorld ^^

~~Saturday, May 9, 2009~~

11:08 PM

Having a stand oso represents having a world of my own no longer wanders in other ppl's world like a homeless spirit le. "Ppl sure dunno how to cherish thing until they loss them" this quote is awefully rite I use to have my own world until the day I lost my stand to ppl around me who try to change, of cos they succeed. It was 1 hell of a down time where I try to search for myself, but well I finally find myself back and it was just where I left off. Back on track to my race. If anyone ask what have I gain in the end after the big detour, I can say I have gain the affirmation from the God I trust nth more nth less.

Still I owe the credit of finding myself back to 3 ppl, First is the most high God becos of him he reveal a great thing that direct me back to myself. The thing he reveal to me is that Im actually a human I do have feelings. Once I sealed up all my feeling and turn cold because I see no use of them and only bring depair and unhappiness and I was fill with hatred but even after the hatred is gone there is still unforgiveness and after that whole long period I lost the feeling of wat feeling is.

Recently Dr.Stephen Muncy came to our church and preach it really like the message is for me, its about a trap if one fall for hatred they fall for the trap and the degree of forgiveness is the depth of your faith so I learn to forgive not jus the person I hate in cell but oso those who brought hatred to my world basically is my sec sch class. From here I gain back my courage.

If I cant release my hatred I cant move on. Still beside God I owe the credits to 2 more ppl 1 is a good friend who is always by my side to listen to all the shit load of craps that I have to dump and from there always encourage me from the deepest of the heart which of cause different from the encouragement that the cell group gave cos the 1 they give are just empty words, from this friend I gain the aspect of confidence back.

Last but not the least is the one girl that I fell so deeply for her, she the one that let me see hope and is also because of her I confirm that Im a human with feelings. It is because of her that I actually get the strenght to stand up, I found my stand, also my desire to strive hard to acheive something high. Most of all I found myself at last.

Now constantly training hard to achieve back the strenght I had before is the top piority.

A cup of milk a day..