Im controlling myself now. Although im trying very hard, but i have to prevent myself not to do any stupid things that im going to regret. Living like a walking zombie, an empty shell. Soulless.

I need to break my own limit to pull through this. I cant be thinking stupid now. Sometime really when chances r missed its hard to get bac. Well have i missed the signal and headed to a point of no return? Have I really being played by fate.

Im stuck in between sth now. At least i got bac on track from the person who derailed 3 years ago. Im very certain i derailed 3 years ago and have turn into another person. But now everything is bac from where i left off. The only factor that have chance is that there is God in the picture now. After such a big round i found myself content and enjoy residing in the church where i first know him proper. The place that really strike fear in me on the first sermon i heard. The impact rekindle my connection wif that place and that house.

Recently bac to there is like every sermon touches my heart deeply. I no longer fall asleep in service at that church like i used to be. Oso met bac alot of friends 3 years ago in that church. Years have pass they have all change without exception. All have become much more mature. I have yet to fully bond wif all the pass friends yet but i will try my best to do so.

Well wif my life bac on its original track of cos things has oso came bac to me. God is good. From the moment i return to him. He has shown me the way and returned the things that i have lost. Kinda think that my trial has ended. But yet again its not i think. I think i have a final stage to pass. Be4 my life becomes perfect. I think God is oso a player that plays to win. No matter wat the result of this final wall is He will still win. My life will still be made perfect by him and for him. Its jus the matter of time depend on the outcome of this trial thats all.

There is only 1 factor in that place that i till now still feel awkward. But im not goin to say here. This factor has cause me to be feel soulless now. This is the final wall.