Fear certainly has overwhelmed me today. All I can say is God work in a truly amazing way. I used 3 days and screwed up my life big time and he used 3 hrs to get me bac into place.

I feel like Im at the most outer ring of a flock of sheep, can easily wander away from the flock cos there is freedom of space. And wat happen was that the shepherd or the shepherd dog came chasing at me to get bac into the flock so that i dun get lost. Im really thankful of the shepherd for that.

My life focus went astray from sth 3 days ago I shifted my focus into 1 person and drown in it. Making myself revolving about that 1 person has gotten me to doubt myself i become who i not really am.

I love this house of God that im in now. Apart from the presence of God here that i enjoy, i felt that God is always watching over me my every step in here. He is not sparing but strict. So far whenever i go astray he never fails to slap me hard. Though its harsh but always after while pondering and knowing the purpose im actually better than be4.

The fear of the Lord never fails to strikes me. He is putting control in my life for i have been too wild be4. I admit i went to church half-hearted today not intending to listen to the sermon cos in my mind is all only about her and wat i can do to get her bac. Pretty much distracted in life. He works wonders I was greeted by an elder at the door today and he asked about my hand as he remember that i was injured last week. For that granted me the first smile in days as i told him im fine and recovering well. He is another person i admired in the church. He is a very people hearted and nice and gentle man. Even his tone is gentle but with concern and weight. True man in my sight is a man with total self control and he is 1. He really work the magic of making me smile even in times where dark clouds covers my whole sky. This is true care and now i have experienced it at least once myself.

Bac to the fear of the Lord topic. Well even when times where I dun wan to listen to the sermon God certainly has a way to drill it into me>< I never fail to read the bible daily ever since the day i went bac church but i stopped for the past few days. Totally break connection wif Him. Guess he has no chance to slap me with his word until today huh. But he really slaps me hard. Pastor preached on the wrath of God today. In all my earthly uncertainty and fears of not getting her bac, he threw the greatest fear into me. God is indeed a jealous God, well i have diverted my attention away from Him. He slam me hard to turn my attention bac to him. How he drilled the sermon into me is simple for the same verse of wrath is repeated many times in the bible today. Isaiah 5:25 9:12,21 10:4 Yet for all this, his anger is not turned away his hand is still upraised. Overwhelmed by fear after the sermon.

Didnt go for adult fellowship cos too overwhelm, I began to head for my way hm. On the way I felt like i my heart got ripped to shreds by the fears. From there I collected myself bac and a revelation come to me. No fear is greater than the fear of the Lord and I am too obsessed and clouded by things be4 to even see myself. Now after everything is destroyed im able to see myself again i know that my reach to her is now blindly revolve arnd her. Now what i need is to take total control of myself as long as i dun lose myself i have the chance. I believe now that I will still do my best to get her bac but at the same time guard the purpose of it well so that i will not lose myself again.

Pray that God will bless tml outing that everything will turn out well or even better.